The Beauty of Friendship

So, the day is nearly over and I am thinking about friendship for several reasons today; three in particular. 

One, we went to the AZ State Fair with our dear friends, Ike & Diane Hathcock. Both of our families have been busy raising kids for many years but tonight we went just by ourselves and we were all able to get in at the SENIOR price (Sorry, Diane!! Ha ha ~ you only have to be 55 to get a discount at the fair). So, for $5 bucks each and the price of some food, etc., we had a great time. We have known the Hathcocks for 27 years (lived across the street from each other all these years - our kids grew up together; well, we had a head start and now their youngest is a senior in High School - ours have been out of the house for awhile). Their friendship is priceless.

Two, while we were at the fair we ran into a sweet friend of mine, MaryEllen Simmons, (amazing mom of a bazillion kids - okay - that number may be too high - but she had a bunch and fostered about 10 times that many over the years). She's a fun lady who can see the humor in the most trying of situations and a talented writer and crafter. She's been a delight to know and now she works at the fair helping young people share their talents in the large exhibit hall under the coliseum that she is in charge of. Just seeing her brought back so many memories and made me smile. I love friends that are always friends even when you don't see them that often (of course, FaceBook has gone a long way in keeping friendships alive when you don't have frequent contact). 

Third, when we came home, there was a lovely little bouquet of "BJ's Flowers" waiting at the door, left by my sweet friend, Kathy Thompson. When our youngest son, BJ (Brian James Abney) passed away 11 years ago after a five and a half year battle with leukemia, the Relief Society sisters prepared a luncheon after the funeral for our family and close friends, as is the custom in our church. On the tables were small pots of little yellow flowers (still not SURE what kind they are - Kathy is pretty sure they are mini mums, but they have this BROWN center that makes me wonder - anyway, not's that important - they are darling). When the luncheon was over, Kathy took a couple of pots and planted them in her yard and despite not having the best of luck with most plants - these little guys flourished. The following year, and every year thereafter, on or around Nov. 8th (the day we lost BJ) she has brought me a small vase of "BJ's Flowers." There are a few more interesting details but they aren't needed for this post. My main point is that she could be so thoughtful and caring to do something like this that reminds me each year of my precious son.

The examples of friendship throughout my life and especially during BJ's illness and passing are beyond anything you could imagine. I have been SO BLESSED in this regard. And I'm lucky to have such great friends. I know they care about us and that's why they have been so wonderful but I also know that they care about the Lord and because they love Him, they also love me and mine. It's a beautiful thing and so tonight, as always, I'm grateful to have such remarkable friends. You're probably one of them if you are reading this!!

Think about your friends and a favorite memory. And then, call them up, remind them of it and tell them how happy you are to be friends. You'll both be glad you did!

TODAY IS THANKSGIVING!!

I thought I’d share some thoughts (random though they may be) and hopefully some of what I say will add to your celebration.

On October 3, 1863, President Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday in November as a national day "of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father." Here is an excerpt from the text of Lincoln's proclamation … after listing some of the blessings the nation had received, Pres. Lincoln said:

“No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

What prompted President Lincoln to establish Thanksgiving Day as a permanent national holiday? In the 1800’s only a few states celebrated Thanksgiving Day. Sarah Hale, a strong-willed widow, A WRITER, no less, believed that Thanksgiving was a very important holiday. She thought the whole country should celebrate it on the same day. Sarah felt such a holiday would help unify our nation. She began writing letters to the President of the United States. In each letter she would plead her case and ask the president to make Thanksgiving a national holiday. Sarah wrote to President Taylor. He said no. Next, she wrote to President Fillmore. He also said no. Then she wrote to President Pierce and after him, she wrote to President Buchannan. Like those before him, he also told Sarah no. Finally, after 17 years and thousands of letters, Sarah wrote to President Lincoln. He agreed with her and on October 3, 1863, President Lincoln declared that the fourth Thursday of November would be Thanksgiving Day and thus a national holiday of gratitude was born.

On Tuesday, my class led our school’s morning ceremony. They did a great job and the entire class recited an adorable Thanksgiving poem in unison. It’s one that my daughter, Shannon, now 37, memorized in the first grade and I have loved it ever since. For your pleasure, I share it with you now:

Thanksgiving Poem

There lay upon the table
A turkey big and round
But when it was time to cook it,
It was nowhere to be found.

They all looked in the kitchen
And in the pantry well.
They asked Kate if she'd seen it
And John and Anna Bell.

Even tiny Mary,
They asked her if she knew,
Where the missing turkey was.
She said, "Of course I do.

Poor turkey wasn't feeling well
Because he lost his head.
So I put my nightie on him
And tucked him in my bed."

---Anonymous

I hope you all have loved ones to share this special day with. We will be gathered together with many extended family members for a wonderful lunch, prepared by all who attend. Then in the evening some of our family members are bringing and serving Thanksgiving dinner to the families that reside at the Ronald McDonald House near Phoenix Children’s Hospital.

May you have a blessed day!

A Thanksgiving Perspective

I hope you are all having a great Thanksgiving Day. There is so much to be thankful for, even in these difficult times. I’ve seen countless people step up to help those who have been hard hit by the financial downslide our country is experiencing and it touches my heart. In my own life the Lord has so richly blessed me with a wonderful heritage, a loving husband and sweet, dear children and grandchildren and His eternal plan of happiness. There are the blessings of friends, a great ward and a close and comfortable neighborhood. My husband and I both have good and meaningful jobs. The list goes on and on so I thought I would share a couple of things that have happened lately that I am grateful for.

Last Sunday our RS president gave a wonderful lesson and shared some Thanksgiving traditions in their family. One was a featherless (magnetic) turkey that hung on their fridge and the colorful (magnetic) feathers that they added as each one expressed something they were thankful for. Then she put the turkey up on the white board and said the sisters could come up and say something they were thankful for and she would add a feather to the turkey. We got many of the typical (albeit marvelous) blessings that people say about family, friends, home, church, etc. and I threw in my gratitude for the electronic advancements of the computer and Internet which allows me to keep in touch instantly with dear friends and family members via email and blogs.

Then a sweet sister came up. I have known and loved her mother for nearly 30 years (quite the mentor ~ fabulous scripturian with such insight) and this daughter has been the source of considerable heartache for her over the years although I never knew any details. Then one day, about a year ago, the daughter started coming to church with her mom and even coming when her mom (who is getting on in years) couldn’t make it. She has the same clear understanding of the scriptures as her mother and I always enjoy her comments. I’ve tried to speak to her each week and tell her how nice it is to see her. I've noticed several others always greet her. She stood at the front of the room and in tears said how thankful she was for forgiveness and the atonement allowing someone like her to come back to church after 25 years and feel so welcome. That pretty much says it all… what greater gift could we have gotten from our Father, than the opportunity to come back into His presence even if we have gotten off the path from time to time. I’m also thankful for this sweet blessing.

The other thing that I keep remembering is the gift of “perspective.” I was going to use this experience for its own blog but I think it goes here quite nicely. It is so easy to see why only the Lord can judge because only He has the proper and complete perspective of what is REALLY going on in someone’s life. Case in point: I went to the Desert Rose RWA writer’s conference a couple of Saturdays ago and in the second break-out group I was in I could hear this very annoying tapping coming from the row behind me, off to the left. I quickly glanced over my shoulder and spotted the woman tapping. When I saw the source of the noise, my feelings about it changed instantly. In fact, as the class went on and I heard the tapping, it made me smile and brought me such a peaceful, comforting feeling. There were two women on the front row, directly in front of her (but she was several rows behind them) and when they tried to turn around to see the source of this annoying tapping, they could not see her at all. I watched them as they whispered back and forth to each other, wondering how anyone could be so rude and they were so distracted by it that I doubt if they got much out of the session.

Why did the tapping cease to bother me? Because when I looked over my shoulder I saw that the woman was blind and she had a brail slate and stylus and was taking notes. That tiny revelation changed my feelings about the noise instantly. I was very thankful that I was able to see her and I truly found the sound of this sweet blind daughter of God taking notes along with the rest of us to be very touching.

I think perspective is a blessing that we should remember throughout our lives. We have no idea why someone does what they do, what brought them to that point or what their life experiences have been giving them their particular perspective and motivation so how can we ever completely understand their actions? What we can do, is completely love them as the Lord loves us. So, I leave you my dear friends with the words of Tiny Tim, “God bless Us, Every One!”
AND HE DOES!!!!!

Eight Years and Still Growing

Growing Pains ~ interesting concept. Growth is inevitable, but not always easy. I looked in the scriptures and the people grew in strength and wisdom as well as in iniquity… kind of depended where their heart was.

I have a wonderful reminder of the constancy, hope and joy of growth on my kitchen table. Last Saturday was the eight anniversary of the passing of our sweet BJ from this life to the next. The tables at his funeral luncheon had little potted flowers on them and one of my dear friends, Kathy Thompson, took some home and planted them. Like me, Kathy doesn’t have much luck in growing plants, but these little flowers have continued to flourish. She calls them “BJ’s flowers.” They were planted in November and blossom each year in time for her to bring me a bouquet of them on November 8th. It’s a tradition I have cherished and appreciated.

Loving all kinds of flowers, but knowing only the names of a few, I had no idea the name of this flower. Last night we had our ANWA (writer's group) chapter meeting at my home and Ceil commented on the beautiful “Black-eyed Susans” I had on my table. Oh, wow, now I know… so this morning I looked them up on the Internet and sure enough, that is exactly what my little plant looks like.

Here’s the interesting part (and it’s pretty cool ~ just a reminder that Heavenly Father knows his children and does the most amazing things to show it) ~ these plants are supposed to bloom from June to August each year and yet BJ’s flowers bloom in November (of course, here in Arizona, November can still be rather warm). Then, the research nut that I am, I kept looking and you won’t believe what I found out about the ‘healing” properties of BJ’s flowers:

The Black-Eyed Susan helps to bring painful memories to light allowing inner healing to begin. In “flower essence therapy” this flower assists individuals in shedding deep burdens that are weighing them down emotionally.

Well, this is about all I can share right now as I have to leave for school soon ~ but I hope you can get the gist of all I wanted to share in how his plant continues to bloom each year and how a dear friend thought of doing that for us and what a sweet reminder it is of a very special young man who has changed our lives forever.

Have a blessed day!!