The Beauty of Friendship

So, the day is nearly over and I am thinking about friendship for several reasons today; three in particular. 

One, we went to the AZ State Fair with our dear friends, Ike & Diane Hathcock. Both of our families have been busy raising kids for many years but tonight we went just by ourselves and we were all able to get in at the SENIOR price (Sorry, Diane!! Ha ha ~ you only have to be 55 to get a discount at the fair). So, for $5 bucks each and the price of some food, etc., we had a great time. We have known the Hathcocks for 27 years (lived across the street from each other all these years - our kids grew up together; well, we had a head start and now their youngest is a senior in High School - ours have been out of the house for awhile). Their friendship is priceless.

Two, while we were at the fair we ran into a sweet friend of mine, MaryEllen Simmons, (amazing mom of a bazillion kids - okay - that number may be too high - but she had a bunch and fostered about 10 times that many over the years). She's a fun lady who can see the humor in the most trying of situations and a talented writer and crafter. She's been a delight to know and now she works at the fair helping young people share their talents in the large exhibit hall under the coliseum that she is in charge of. Just seeing her brought back so many memories and made me smile. I love friends that are always friends even when you don't see them that often (of course, FaceBook has gone a long way in keeping friendships alive when you don't have frequent contact). 

Third, when we came home, there was a lovely little bouquet of "BJ's Flowers" waiting at the door, left by my sweet friend, Kathy Thompson. When our youngest son, BJ (Brian James Abney) passed away 11 years ago after a five and a half year battle with leukemia, the Relief Society sisters prepared a luncheon after the funeral for our family and close friends, as is the custom in our church. On the tables were small pots of little yellow flowers (still not SURE what kind they are - Kathy is pretty sure they are mini mums, but they have this BROWN center that makes me wonder - anyway, not's that important - they are darling). When the luncheon was over, Kathy took a couple of pots and planted them in her yard and despite not having the best of luck with most plants - these little guys flourished. The following year, and every year thereafter, on or around Nov. 8th (the day we lost BJ) she has brought me a small vase of "BJ's Flowers." There are a few more interesting details but they aren't needed for this post. My main point is that she could be so thoughtful and caring to do something like this that reminds me each year of my precious son.

The examples of friendship throughout my life and especially during BJ's illness and passing are beyond anything you could imagine. I have been SO BLESSED in this regard. And I'm lucky to have such great friends. I know they care about us and that's why they have been so wonderful but I also know that they care about the Lord and because they love Him, they also love me and mine. It's a beautiful thing and so tonight, as always, I'm grateful to have such remarkable friends. You're probably one of them if you are reading this!!

Think about your friends and a favorite memory. And then, call them up, remind them of it and tell them how happy you are to be friends. You'll both be glad you did!

Live in Daily Thanksgiving

Thessalonians 5: 18 “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (Holy Bible, KJV)

Alma 34:38 “… and take upon you the name of Christ; that you humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you.” (Book of Mormon)

 

From two scriptural sources we can read that the Lord is counting on us to give thanks daily, for every single thing, good or bad. Hmmm. How are you doing with that one? Been complaining lately? Life is often hard, there’s no escaping that fact. It’s usually inconvenient; but when all is said and done, it’s still amazingly wonderful.

I’ve lived a long time (and I hope I’ll be of sound mind and health to live a lot longer – I’m pretty fond of waking up every day). Two very important things I have learned along the way is that first, we’re not in charge. And second, we need to GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! The Lord sees things from the beginning to the end. He knows what will bring us growth, joy, benefit … even if we don’t see it at the time. He can do a lot more with our lives than we can if we were left in charge. We just need to be grateful for the lessons that come and the results they bring. If it’s still hard, then He isn’t done yet and we need to be patient and long-suffering.

It’s easy to be grateful for the good things; the beauty of the earth, wonderful people and opportunities in our lives, food on the table, a roof over our heads and gas in the car, just to name a few blessings. But it’s dang hard to be grateful for health challenges, terminal illnesses, difficult people, lack of anything, accidents, lost homes or jobs; in fact, loss of any kind. It’s difficult to be grateful when our feelings have been hurt or worse. In either instance, there are lessons to be learned. We learn from both abundance and lack, from success and failure and learning to take things as they come, with a grateful heart makes the tough stuff a little easier to deal with.

I need to work on this. I suspect most people do. I only bring it up because these are the verses and thoughts that came to my mind when I wondered what I should write about for Day 2 of blogging every day in November. I didn’t choose a “gratitude” blog for the month – although it’s a great idea – I just was hoping to post something of worth (for myself and hopefully for anyone reading this) every day. So, there you have it. A grateful heart … NO matter what. What do you think?

Day 21 - Let's Write a Rictameter Poem

Day 21 ~ Let’s Write a Rictameter Poem

 

OK, another poem that focuses on the number of syllables per line. It doesn't matter if they rhyme of not. The rictameter form of poetry was created in the early 1990s by two cousins, Jason D. Wilkins and Richard W. Lunsford, Jr., both poets who were inspired by the Robin Williams' movie, "Dead Poet's Society."
 

A rictameter is a nine line poetry form. The 1st and last lines are the same with the syllable count as follows:

• line 1 - 2 syllables - same as line 9
• line 2 - 4 syllables
• line 3 - 6 syllables
• line 4 - 8 syllables
• line 5 - 10 syllables
• line 6 - 8 syllables
• line 7 - 6 syllables
• line 8 - 4 syllables
• line 9 - 2 syllables - same as line 1 

~~~~~~ For a sample I wrote a simple little rictameter poem about my son, BJ, who passed away at the age of 16, after a 5 1/2 year battle with leukemia in 2000 ~~~~~~~

On Missing My Son

 Happy

Joy in each day

What great times we all had

Getting through the good and the bad

And then, my happiness was gone, like you

Your body too weak for this world

Until we meet again

Never to part

Happy

© 2011 Stephanie Abney

Here's a link those of you who are getting serious about writing poetry might enjoy:
Poetry Dances ~ Popular Poetry Styles

OK, YOUR TURN!!!

BOOK REVIEW: A Mighty Heart by Mariane Pearl

I finished A Mighty Heart: The Brave Life And Death Of My Husband, Danny Pearl
by Mariane Pearl the other day. In some ways it reminds me of Three Cups of Tea: One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. Both take place mostly in Pakistan and both are so powerful that you reflect on them for days and even weeks to come. Both have some rough language but it was nearly transparent to me as the heart-wrenching frustrations in each story resulting in such words were so overwhelming that I hardly noticed the harsh and sometimes foul words, normally foreign to me. (And in both cases, I listened to the book on CD driving to and from work over the course of a couple of weeks. I still consider them books that I "read").

I remember when this occurred as the world held it's breath for five long weeks, sending up prayers in many languages for Danny's safe return. He was a reporter and the South Asia Bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal. Danny put himself in harm's way to shed some light to the side of the news that might bring about world understanding. Instead, in this instance, it brought a type of horror that proved to be both universal and yet painfully personal for his wife, Mariane, who was pregnant with their first child, a son.

On January 23, 2002, on his way to what he thought was an interview at a village restaurant in Karachi, Pearl was kidnapped by the militant group, "The National Movement for the Restoration of Pakistani Sovereignty." This group claimed Danny (of Jewish heritage and an American) was a CIA agent. Before he left for the interview, he told Mariane that he might be late for dinner. He never returned.

Mariane's riveting account of realizing her husband was missing and working to help the authorities piece it all together, leading up to Danny's eventual and brutal murder will leave you forever changed. Mariane is also an award-winning journalist and shares a very detailed step-by-step account of what took place. Surprisingly, interwoven throughout every page of the book, is a love story so intimate, intense and tender that you'll find often yourself smiling and feeling very privileged to "know" these remarkable people, including those surrounding Mariane during this difficult time ... each with their own "mighty heart."

The book on CD is read by Mariane. You really need to concentrate to understand her as she was born of an Afro-Chinese-Cuban mother and Dutch-Jewish father in France. She is a practicing Buddist. Mariane was raised in Paris and has a very unique accent. It's a good thing that you have to listen so carefully as you want to catch every detail and no one else would ever be able to tell the story as she does. It's a story I shall not soon forget. It makes you grateful and also sad but leaves you in awe of the courage of so many of our brothers and sisters half-way around the world, especially Mariane, whose heart is every bit as mighty as her husband's.

The Eclectic Word Lover

This is from a blog I posted at ANWA Founder and Friends to introduce myself and since I thought that there may be a few visitors to my blog who do not know me well, it might be fun to post it here as well.

For those who do not know, ANWA stands for American Night Writers Association and I have been a member for many years. It is a network for LDS women writers. So, here is how I introduced myself on that blog:

I am a lover of words… I love the sounds of words, the various definitions and often hidden meanings of words. I enjoy delightful and funny alliterations and the way certain words just roll right off your tongue while others are like a gentle breeze, soothing and relaxing. Some words are as meaningful as a hug or sadly, as hurtful as a knife.

Everything about words fascinates me… the etymology of words, their power and their magic. I’m grateful for a mother who knew just the right words to use when one of us had a difficult day or when she wanted to share the beauties of this world with us. I’m also thankful that on many occasions I have been prompted to do the same. Words are just the configuration of letters on a page and yet they can bring you to tears, warm your entire being with hope and love or cause joyful and often hysterical laughter. Words can mend relationships and heal hearts. They can also cause harm and even start wars. This line of thinking really intrigues me. I guess it is because of my love of words that I am a writer. However, a writer is only one small facet of who I am.

My favorite word is “eclectic.” If I had a middle name, it would have to be “eclectic.” Sounds strange, I know. But it is the most all-inclusive word I can think of to describe me. I love “picking and choosing the very best” from a wide range of options, etc. I am so random sometimes; I can be quite the paradox and I just love the sound of the word “eclectic.” I guess that’s why I use it so often.

I figured I’d just give you a quick “run-down” of some of the other facets that make up Stephanie Peterson Abney:

I was born in 1951 (doing the math?) in Burbank, CA in a hospital across the street from Walt Disney Studios and raised in Studio City, CA (in the foothills about a quarter mile from Universal Studios). My parents, Steve and Geneal Peterson, were both from Utah and I have one sister, Camille. I gradated from Hollywood High School (I drove past the famous “HOLLYWOOD” sign every day on my way to school) and met my husband, Jim, in a snowball fight at B.Y.U. We will celebrate 38 years of marriage this August and are the parents of 5 children (3 girls and 2 boys). We currently have 14 grandchildren.

We have lived in Mesa, AZ for the past 31 years where Jim works for the church taking care of many of our local LDS buildings and I am a substitute school teacher (and part-time writer who dabbles in network marketing because I love the business model of helping those on your team).

Like everyone, we’ve seen our share of heartaches. The hardest thing Heavenly Father has ever required of us was to watch our healthy and bright 10 year old son battle leukemia for 5½ years and then say goodbye until the next life just 2 months after his 16th birthday. He was an incredible kid and it was a year of great loss. My mom passed away nearly ten years ago and then eighteen months later, my dad died suddenly; six weeks after that, Jim’s dad died from an accident in the home; five weeks later Jim’s mother died due to (preventable) complications of surgery and just three weeks later, with all of his grandparents awaiting him, our sweet son, BJ, passed away. In a four month period we buried 4 immediate family members. We are grateful for the gospel, a strong faith in the Lord’s plan of happiness and wonderful family and friends who loved us and blessed us during those trying times.

My life is also one of great joy. I am an eternal optimist and truly feel I lead a charmed life. All I need do is sit back when I’m surrounded by my family, watching them interact together, look around at our modest yet welcoming home and know that I am indeed a very blessed daughter of God.

Some of the things I enjoy are reading, writing, doing research (my personal choice for relaxation… I love to hunt up facts and stories), being in nature, hanging out with family and friends, playing the Native American Flute and watching great movies.

I have been a member of ANWA for about 19 years and it has been one of my greatest joys. I have developed sweet friendships, learned much and am a better person for it. This year I am the General Vice-president. I look forward to taking my turn on this *blog (that would be *ANWA Founder and Friends) and getting to know many of you better.

Blessings,
Stephanie