Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Let's try a "If You Were" poem

“If YOU Were” poem
This is a fun little poem that is actually a quatrain (4 lines) in which the last sound of lines 2 and 4 rhyme. It also has two metaphors (remember, a “metaphor” is a figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to draw a comparison). It is not the same as a simile. A simile uses the word like or as in order to make a comparison, whereas metaphors use is or are. So if you say “If I were” or “If you were” and named the thing (noun), it is a metaphor.
A simile: Your hair is like golden flax.

A metaphor: Your hair is golden flax.
So, there’s a little grammar lesson for ya’ – sorry, it’s the teacher in me. OK, back to the instructions: one metaphor is for the “I” part of the poem and the other metaphor is for the “you” part of the poem.
Here are some instructions taken from Charles Ghinga’s site (with his permission - he gave me permission last year - I'm assuming he's still okay with sharing his wonderful link) – I suggest you GO TO HIS SITE for more details and other fun stuff pertaining to poetry: Giggle Poetry Class with Charles Ghinga
Instructions: Think of a person you like. Compare that person to some thing (inanimate object). Now compare yourself to some thing associated with the first object.
Here's a couple that I tried to write:
If you were a king
And I were a queen,
We'd live in a castle,
Ya' know what I mean?

If you were the sand
And I were the sea,
I'd ebb up so very close,
And whisper, "Come away with me."

Yeah - they're not that great but go to the link above and get some good ideas and try it out for yourself. (I never promised to be any good at all of these - just willing to give it a try). Now ... it's YOUR turn!! Have fun!


Heidi L. Murphy said...

My answer to Stephani:

If you were ocean,
Then I'd be the sand,
Circling you round
And holding your hand.

And my own dangerous addition:

If you were a candle,
A moth I would be
Fluttering closer
And closer to thee.

You're flicker would draw me
Whatever the cost
Closer and closer
Until I was lost.

Stephanie Abney said...

Great, Heidi!! Love it!

Erica said...

If you were the moon
and I were the tide
every rise and set
could become a
great ride

Vicki said...

Love all the poems so far. Here's my ones for the day.

If you were a credit card,
and I was a wallet,
We'd buy us a shipyard,
and add tons to our debt!

If you were a camera,
and I was the film,
We'd take a trip to Panama,
and photograph a hill.

Anna Arnett said...

I didn't check yesterday, so I'm a day late. But here is my best try. To me it affirms, not saddens.


You are a rock, steadfast, unmovable.
I am a sparrow, flighty, improvable.
Yet, as I flit upon you to sit,
I sense that we both are removable.

Stephanie Abney said...

Great job, everyone! LOVE it, Anna! Glad you're participating; you're always so much fun and insightful. I'm really happy to see the results from everyone!! I look forward to all the poems. :) Cheers!!

Unknown said...

If you were a hammer,
And I were a nail,
We'd build us a ship,
Upon which to sail.

If you were a nut,
And I were the shell,
Until we were cracked,
I'd protect you well.

Unknown said...

That was me above. Carol Lynn Rainbolt

Unknown said...

Oops it should have been......

I'd protect you so well.